Our summers are so very busy that each year I have a hard time carving out enough time and mental space for work hours. We’re raising two boys and that means lots of commitments.
When I was just starting out trying to build a career for myself as a knitwear designer, the boys were littler and I simply gave up over the summers. I thought to myself that it was selfish to keep working hours instead of spending that time with the boys. So I put away all of my folders, projects and plans. I hoped that I would remember where I left off in the fall when I was able to pick things up again.
And each year I felt a little less like myself….a little like choosing to be only a mother was swallowing up the person I used to be. Like I was packing away a part of myself and each year when I took that part back out it was a little smaller and a little more brittle. Plus as my sales dropped over the summer, I felt more financial guilt like I should just give up and “go get a real job”.
Over the last few summers I’ve done a better job of figuring out how to work around the boys’ schedules and we are all much happier for it! I’m happier because my creative side doesn’t get shut down for a chunk of the year and that makes me a whole person. My family is happier because my being a whole person means that I’m not low functioning or depressed and I’m more able to participate fully in the time I spend with them.
For me, making the change is more about balance and a change in my mindset than anything else. I had to give myself permission to step back from daily life and carve some space and time each day to do the work. I also had to set clear boundaries for myself (butt in the chair every day) and for my family (no interruptions during work hours unless it is a true emergency like fire or extensive bleeding).
I’ve also learned a handful of things that help get my creative juices flowing over the summer break.
I do my goals quarterly using the Chalk Board Method (link to an earlier post) with my second quarter being the months of April, May and June. So before the end of school craziness hits in May, I already have my goals written out big and bold and sitting behind my computer on my desk. That way if I’ve got just a handful of minutes to concentrate, I can look at the board and see where to focus my attention.
I found a space that is just mine. There are no walls around my office desk so I’m still part of the house. But it is my desk and no one else uses that space at all. So folders and projects and sticky notes are right where I left them for the next time I sit down to work.
Also, I have to let some things go. Dialing back on things like cleaning and cooking mean that I have more time to spend with the boys and concentrate on work. So the floors are a little messier in the summer and we eat more sandwiches or salads. I don’t think the boys are going to care what the floors were like when we look back on these summers. Instead they’re going to remember that they saw me being fearless and working hard to follow my dreams and build a job for myself doing something I love. And they’re going to remember that I made some time each week to do things that matter to them like board games, gardening and teaching them to cook.
